Have ever wondered how an "unattractive" man managed to find an attractive mate? Have you ever met an beautiful woman's boyfriend and stood dumbfounded because her boyfriend wasn't much better looking than you? Do you know a jerk who has more sex than you do?
I witnessed many of the preceding scenarios and had enough. I am may short, but I knew that if those guys were able to date beautiful women, there was no excuse for me.
So, I studied dating books harder than I ever studied any subject at school. And after months of studying, practicing attraction techniques, and learning what worked through trial and error, I became one of those guys who made all the other guys wonder, "How did he manage to get her?"
Theodore Roosevelt said "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you car." Women are people.
Don’t speak to a woman with the intent of “picking her up.” Show a sincere interest in her life. You can do this through two simple techniques: complementing her and asking her questions.
#1: Complimenting Her
Women work hard to be noticed, so show them that you notice their work. Many women wake up hours earlier they have to in order to:
And that's just their face! I didn't even mention what many women have to do with their ears, hair, belly ring, and nails.
Do women a favor and compliment them. Be sincere about it. Tell her you noticed that her eye shadow complements her lipstick and that her dress matches her shoes. These intricacies are no accidents. She thought hard about these decisions before stepping outside, and she even posted her daily selfie on Instagram because she wanted to reassure herself with likes. By showing her you noticed, you are separating yourself from all the guys who either didn't notice or were too shy to tell her that they did.
Follow your compliment up by asking her questions.
#2: Asking Her Questions
Asking a woman questions will enhance her sense of importance. Ask her:
Don’t just ask her questions because you want to date her; ask her questions because you’re always interested in other people’s lives. These questions are not very intrusive and they could lead to a conversation that ends with your saying, "It was nice talking to you... could I add you on Instagram?"
If she obliges, which she will if she doesn't see you as threatening, you've succeeded. This will lead to giving her more on her compliments on her feed, which may lead to direct messaging conversations, which should eventually lead to your asking her if she wants to hang out.
Smart people learn from their mistakes.
Smarter people learn from the mistakes of others.
I've made enough mistakes in courtship to write a book on them. Don't make the mistakes I did. Here is what you should not do when it comes to attracting women.
1. Don't be desperate for a woman
Don't believe that only one woman can take you to the promised land. Anything that is being chased will run away. Be friendly towards everybody - men, women, and children. Ask LOTS of women out. Go out with some and let those who rejected you become jealous when they see that you’re a swell guy who’s fun to be around and friendly towards everybody - not just people you like.
2. Don't believe that a certain women is too good for you.
Don't be intimidated by an attractive young lady working at the mall. If you are a kind, intelligent man with a college degree or career, remember that you are the catch. Any girl who rejects you is the one losing out. You might think that you'd be more confident when a girl likes you, but the truth is that you'll only find a girl if you become more confident.
3. Don't wallow in your self-pity
Don’t feel sorry for yourself if a lady rejects you. Women cannot stand men who mope. They want a man with broad shoulders to lean on, not a man to lean on their shoulder. If a Girl A rejects you, talk to Girl B, and so on. The women who reject you will realize their loss when they see how well you treat other woman.
4. Don’t pursue woman who are taken
There are so many single women in the world; why would you complicate matters by pursuing women who are already taken? Love is complicated enough. Do not complicate things even more by getting involved in a love triangle. I do not need to mention that you could also get your ass kicked - or your throat slit - for talking to another man's girl.
5. Don’t settle for a woman out of fear of loneliness
Every man deserves a woman he can look at and say, "I can't believe I go out with HER." Do not date a woman because she is the only one willing to talk to you. Do not put up with a partner who puts you down. Aim high. Know what kind of woman you are looking for, find her, and make her yours.
I used to mope about how life wasn't fair: all women had to do was sit back and chose the most handsome guy who approaches them, while men had to actively pursue women and risk embarrassment and rejection.
Then I read about the tremendous advantage men have.
While women have to wait and see who they get to choose from, men get to choose who they want to approach.
In How to Attract Women IF You're Not That Attractive, you will learn that attracting women is more about what you do than how you look. Here are the five things men should do if they hope to find the perfect mate:
6. Flirt with every woman you encounter
Dating is a numbers game. I asked one girl out in high school, got rejected, and hid in a cave. Then I learned that if I flirt with one-hundred girls, about twenty would flirt back, and of those twenty, five might give me their phone number. Of those five women, three might go out with me, and of those three, one might sleep with me. The more action I took, the more action I got. The more action you take, the more action you’ll get.
7. Go where the beautiful women are
Don't claim that "no girl in the world" will go out with you until you’ve traveled and spoken to women all over the world. Make the effort to meet women outside of your city. I dated women in San Diego, Chicago, and Philadelphia before I dated women in New York City. I dated a stripper in Bangkok and an angel in Manila (I married the angel.) The point is that the world is full of beautiful women, and you need to get out more to meet them.
8. Expect rejection and persist in its wake
Someone once said that going through life expecting not to get hurt is like playing football and expecting not to get hit. Heartbreak is a part of life. The difference between the happy and the depressed (barring medical conditions) is that happy people know how handle heartbreak. Many jerks get lots of dates because they don't care how many times they strike out. Keep swinging. There is no three-strike rule in love.
9. Gain wisdom and experience
To release some anxiety you have about pursuing love, you may have to hook up with girls you are not in love with or find a friend with benefits. There are girls who just want to have sex without worrying about the confines of a relationship. Find them. Manufacture a way to find sex once in a while, so that you could go out there a little more calm and a little less desperate for sex. And if you can't find a legitimate way to get a girl to take off her clothes, take a trip to the strip club, see some boobies, and come out a little less desperate.
10. Be attractive
In order to attract a quality woman, you will have to become a quality man. Quality men are confident because they strive to be the best they can be. Eat right and exercise. Study your passions. Study wealth and make enough to live the life you want. Dress attractively. Remember, God judges you from the inside, but people will judge you from the outside.
For a free preview of Chapter 1 of How to Attract Women If You're Not That Attractive, click here.
If you've enjoyed the preview, click below to purchase the book on Amazon.